Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 19.

I hesitate to put the events of yesterday to paper but since I did promise myself that I would keep an accurate record of what happens to me, I see little point in sparing myself blushes. The Chief accompanied me on my walk about the trees and after a few sticks' pretence of gathering berries and idle chit chat, I found myself in his arms. With his hand over my mouth to keep me from crying out too loudly, the Chief laid claim to my body. His self-confident, almost arrogant kisses lit in me a flame that the gentle, diffident caresses of several of Mother's footmen never did and I found myself responding to his hands with a rabid hunger of which I never knew I was capable. I did not care that we could be seen by anyone who cared to wander into the copse, in fact, it added to the excitement and need I felt.  It was not like lying with any of the men of my House, who are respectful, hesitant, even shy. They consider it erotic to leave clothing on and whisper poetry while they take their pleasure. Oh, no, lying with the Chief could not have been less like that...! He made me wait; his free hand and mouth moved over my body, possessing it, slowly laying waste to every single stitch I wore. When finally, he entered me, I was all but sobbing into the hand that covered my mouth as I begged him in muffled moans to take me. My body shuddered violently as it met his, my limbs a jellied mass as I writhed beneath him, straining towards the pleasure I somehow knew I would feel when he gave me release. And I did feel it. Such as I have never felt; an explosion of physical and emotional response and when he collapsed on top of me, spent, I burst into tears. I could not tell him why. I did not know. I cannot name the emotion I felt at that moment and I do not know if I shall ever feel it again.
Should the Chief make his desires known to me again, I shall not refuse but I do not intend to become another of his wives; in any case, I must get to Dying Crane... As I wept, he held me in his arms but I did not feel safe there as other women might have - instead I felt a great sense of danger; an intuition that if I allowed it, I should lose myself in him and be glad to do so. When his breathing had slowed, he picked me up, wrapping me in the clothing he had ripped off and carried me to the seashore. Strangely, there was no one there to see as he took me into the sea and washed me with much gentler hands and all the while, neither of us spoke; there was no need.  We stayed there, in the sea for some while, floating in each other's arms remaining silent. Eventually, we went back to the shore and dressed, the fabric of my skirts stuck to my wet, salty skin and I wrung out my hair, pinning it to my head grimacing a little because I knew I should have to spend two entire sticks getting the salt out of it later. The Chief chuckled and finally broke the silence by telling me that he would see me when it was time to eat. I stayed on the sand a good while longer, thinking about what had passed between us and hoping to the gods that I do not end up pregnant to the Chief because in all the heat and passion, it did not occur to me until then, that neither of us had used any form of protection and I have no herbal woman to visit out here...

Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 17.

I spent a pleasant day basking in the sunshine yesterday. There was little to be done around the camp since we had already packed up ready to sail and the Chief sees no reason to unpack everything simply to have to repack it all in a few days' time. That is perfectly sensible if indeed it is but a few days, of course but were we to be stuck here for another two weeks, I cannot see the sense in that. Anyway, as it is, there is little to do other than the washing, cooking and cleaning and once those chores are taken care of, I am free to do as I wish. 

Unfortunately for myself, I am now regretting my decision to lounge in the sun due to a very nasty case of sunburn. I have spent most of this morning hidden within the cool confines of my tent. My face is the same colour as one of the crustaceans that Father used to enjoy; it is not an attractive look. It also hurts and is making me feel most irritable. One of the Chief's wives has given me some evil smelling unguent to slather over my skin which is supposed to make it feel better. It doesn't work. There has been little change in the last day or two, no new birds have arrived and although several of the men spent yesterday cutting down trees, for now, we must wait.

My day of leisure gave me a good opportunity to really look around me and see what it is like here. It does not matter how many books or maps one looks at, I realise now that there can be no substitute for actually being in a place and experiencing it. The trees in the House grounds are very lovely, but they are short, pruned into submission by the gardeners; they are too perfect. The trees out here are enormous. They tower over the horizon like huge, leafy parasols shading those who are sensible enough to lie under them rather than out in the sun. Birds flit in and out of those leaves constantly, calling to each other and there are some small, brown creatures who play in the lower branches. They are extremely entertaining and very pretty; soft bushy tails and a darker stripe that runs down their backs. I have seen them in books but I forget the name of them.  In any case, there is no entertainment to be had today, I must stay out of the sun or I will become ill. Perhaps tomorrow, I shall be able to go out and explore more of the wooded area behind the camp.

Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 15.

A bird from Nanami finally arrived today. It appears that she has not had time to keep me properly updated. I must admit that I did feel slightly irritated at that confession since keeping me properly updated is what I pay her to do but I suppose that this situation could never have been foreseen. I shall have to find a way to contact Shikiko and ensure that my network are in fact, still being paid. It took a considerable amount of time and stealth to set up fake payrolls for all of them and it will be very difficult to ensure that I am not discovered in my absence. Nanami's missive has made me even more anxious about remaining here. I cannot rid myself of this feeling that I am wasting time. Physically, I have never felt so well-rested or as healthy. My skin has responded to the sun and I am actually tanned. Even were Mother's soldiers to come across the camp, I cannot believe that they would recognise me at all but none of that changes the fact that while I sit here, Lady Yuika has no ally.
Nanami writes that the Lady appeared to rally for a short time but that she has taken a turn for the worse. The mysterious Broken Rampart has  gone on his way and Lady Yuika seems devastated. Nanami continues that she has been at her wits' end these past weeks and could no longer contain herself in the face of Yuika's tantrums. She says that she broke down in tears and that as a result, she has been sent away for a holiday. This is less than ideal from my perspective but I suppose that I cannot even imagine the strain she has been under.  She does not say whether she received my last missive and she does not mention the letters which my agent in Fallen Sakura spoke about. I can only suppose that in this case, no news is not bad news.
I have spent some time replying to her letter so that she knows I am on the way and from which direction I will arrive. I have also asked her to contact Shikiko on my behalf and make sure that my network's payroll remains undiscovered. It would be wonderful if I had an income of my own so that I could pay them myself but with things the way they are, I am certain that Father would not have begrudged me the money. In any case, it does afford me some small pleasure to know that my spies are paid for by Mother and Taiji. My real regret is that I will never see her face if she ever finds out... I also asked Nanami to contact Ryuji in Fallen Sakura and ascertain whether or not he has found out who is writing those letters to Yuika and to find out everything she can from the rest of my network.
I remembered just before I put my stamp (manufactured for a fictional person, of course) to it, that I had not asked Nanami to train more birds. I do not know when she will return from her holiday but at least by the time I arrive at Dying Crane, she will have had a chance to begin training some new ones. If she can read my scrawl at the very bottom of the page, that is... She will have little time for much of this, if half of what she tells me about the situation in the North is true, but even if she only manages one or two of these jobs, my position will be better than it is now. If only there were a way to speed up the ship repair...

Year of the Boar, Seventh Month, Day 13.

It seems unfair to say that I am angry since the traders are in fact, doing me a great kindness by taking me with them. Nonetheless, I am finding it difficult to contain my temper this morning. In order to at least vaguely hide my annoyance and disappointment, I have retired to my tent in order to vent my feelings on the turf by ripping little chunks of it out and throwing them towards the other end of the tent. It has not helped so I have decided that I should take my feelings out on my ink and brushes.
Our journey is to be further delayed on account of some sort of hole in the hull of one of the ships.
Apparently, even though the wood from any of the trees nearby would be suitable, there must be a proper drying process, then the wood must be cut and sanded and waterproofed and about a thousand other intricate procedures before the ship will be considered sea-worthy. I am afraid that my eyes glazed over and I quite lost the thread of what the Chief was saying after I became fixated upon the fact that we would not be leaving on schedule.
The Chief has decided that the camp will remain here until the ship has been mended which might take as long as two seven-days and that is as long as the weather remains fine.  I could spit. Even were I to make the decision to continue my journey on foot, it would still take me far longer than it will if I sit here and wait for the traders to take me. It is just that I feel as though I am wasting time remaining here accomplishing nothing. I suppose that if I achieve nothing else, I will have a chance to catch up on my correspondence; even though I have no birds, I can still write letters to my network and send them once birds arrive.