Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 11.

 I had Mai wake me at an appropriate hour this morning and once I had taken some tea and eaten some fruit, I spent some time considering how I should dress. I did not want to look excessively formal but I did not wish to look like a servant, either. I wanted to be taken seriously and yet not look as if I were parading my rank. Mai suggested several gowns which I thought were much too opulent before we settled on grey silk with a teal blossom pattern on it. I thought it said quality without screaming luxury. Mai matched it with a black sash and put a black jewelled pin in my hair and then did some light eye make up.

The fashions here are much the same as they are in Silent Thunder although the Ladies have followed those in the north and no longer plaster their faces with white powder. I am glad about that; I do not need any more reasons to draw attention to myself. Apparently, by Purple Lightning's standards, the weather here is considered cold so Mai tried to convince me to wear a fur wrap. I laughed and said if she thought it was cold here, she should try the north! I went out without the wrap. 

I was unsure of the etiquette of going to see the couple I wished to meet. In the end, rather than arrive at their quarters unannounced and create awkwardness, I decided that inviting them to take tea with me might be a better plan than invading their space. I had Mai deliver a note explaining who I was and that I thought they must know my Mother and that I hoped they would be so kind as to join me for some tea.

Waiting for a response to that note was torturous. Mai was gone for half a stick at the most but it felt like days on end. I was extremely agitated and although I tried to settle, I could not. When Mai finally returned, I was fit to burst but there was no need to fret; the answer was a charmingly polite 'yes'.  Lady Hanako would be along in three sticks' time. 

How I managed to pass that time, I have no idea. I felt so anxious; desperate for even the tiniest scrap of information which would help me get closer to Father's secrets... When the hour finally arrived, a homely woman dressed in a cool shade of pink and wearing an exquisite purple flower pin in an ornate braided high knot which was a significant indication of her status stepped over the threshold. I had clearly been misled about her being a minor noble. No matter. I was not going to let that deter me from finding out everything I could from her.

I had been correct in my assumption that she and her husband must have known Mother. They are her contemporaries; related very distantly to Taiji's father. Lady Hanako told me that she and Mother played together when they were very young. She found Mother to be fun, outgoing and something of a rebel. This is not a description I recognise. Apparently, their friendship had ended when Grandfather announced his intention to marry Mother into Pale Twilight and Lady Hanako did not really know much once they had stopped playing together. 

It was not a great deal of help other than to cement my feeling that something traumatic affected Mother so deeply that she became a different person. However, I have discovered something which even after several sticks to digest it, I cannot comprehend. The Lady Purple Lightning is related to Mother. Cousins so many times removed that it hardly matters. Except it does. How is it that no one has ever mentioned this? It means that The Lady Purple Lightning is my cousin. And I did not know. Why? I cannot recall even seeing the suggestion of such a connection on any documents related to our family tree. Could this have something to do with what Father sent me to find? 

If only I could comprehend the significance of this information or more accurately, the significance of why it seems to have been erased.

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 10. Postscript.

 The evening meal in the Hall was wonderful. The atmosphere was warm and light; I think I need not have been nervous about going in by myself. I suppose my feelings were influenced by my experiences of the much bigger Houses but here, almost everyone had a welcoming word to say to me and Ladies Miho and Yurie did not have to introduce me to anyone. They were excellent company and over a delicious selection of stuffed fishes, we laughed until the small hours. 

Of course, they grilled me about my travels and gushed over how brave I must be to set off alone and wander about the country. I had no doubt that everything I said would be reported back to The Lady Purple Lightning as soon as the opportunity arose so I was circumspect in what I told them and did my best to downplay the experiences I have had. Purple Lightning has a small group of musicians who entertain the House but they do not begin until tea is being served after dessert. Since Purple Lightning does not start the formal evening meal until the hour of the owl, it makes for a very late night. 

Despite the lateness of the hour, I find that I am not particularly tired; probably because of my late start today. I must ensure this does not become a habit. I wished to note down what I have discovered because I finally feel as if I may make some progress here. While we chatted over the meal, I learnt that there is a minor noble couple who may have known Mother when she was young. Apparently they hail from Laughing Spider but moved here for some sort of opportunity some years ago. They had chosen not to eat in the Hall this evening but now I know who they are, I intend to go and meet them tomorrow and see what, if anything, they can tell me.

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 10.

I had decided not to write anything further until there was something of note to report. The evening before last had me feeling quite melancholy; when I investigated the kitchen, I found some lychees and a dragonfruit so rather than face the Hall, I ate those and retired early. I am thankful that my months of travelling taught me to be somewhat self-sufficient because Shigeko (or whatever her name may be) did not return to help me prepare for bed. I had no way to know if I was supposed to summon her or if she would simply appear at what Purple Lightning thinks are appropriate times. I did not know where the night lanterns were kept so I opted for total darkness and blew out the lantern so I could sleep.

I thought perhaps I would feel better about things when the morning came but I felt tearful and anxious. I do not know about what since nothing had really changed other than Haru leaving. There was still no sign of Shigeko and I did not know what the hour was although it was not long before the hour of the cat was called. I felt vaguely ashamed that I had slept into the afternoon but since I had little else to do, I decided not to be too hard on myself. I was more irritated that I had missed the midday meal and there was still no sign of Shigeko.

Unless I wanted to starve, I realised that I had no choice but to join the Hall for the evening meal and that, I could absolutely not do, unless I was properly attired. I cannot dress myself in formal attire. The layers are too heavy and the sash is too complicated to tie without help. Strangely, it is actually not difficult to dress someone else but managing it on oneself is nigh on impossible and before I cut my hair, my maid would have to do anything more complicated than a basic braid. 

I felt myself to be in a difficult position. I could hardly complain to The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning that there was no food in the guest house or that the maid had disappeared.... I know I am forthright but I do my best to avoid being unspeakably rude if I can... I did not know what to do. I paced around the guest house as if it would give me some sort of inspiration and then decided I would bathe. At least I would be clean if not dressed in finery...

The water was scented with some sort of flower. I did not know what it was but it had an indistinct citrus scent which I liked very much. My hair still smells of it now... It was considerably warmer than Kaede keeps hers which I also enjoyed greatly. It was incredibly relaxing; I could quite easily have gone back to sleep enveloped in that warmth. I let my mind drift, hoping my subconscious would bring forth some ideas and as I was thinking on what my next steps should be, my peace was interrupted by some chattering from without. Meeting new people while in the bath is not ideal but rather than beat a hasty retreat, I thought it would be wise to try and make some connections.

When the door slid open, I was startled to realise that the interloper was none other than The Lady Purple Lightning herself! Perhaps the gods had decided to take matters in hand and I would not starve after all. At first I was unsure whether I had inadvertently come to a private bath house and thought perhaps I should go. I stammered out an apology and made to pull myself out of the water but The Lady Purple Lightning told me not to be so silly. I was grateful for that. 

We made light conversation for a while during which I ascertained that Shigeko is supposed to have moved into the guest house with me. What I did not discover, because The Lady Purple Lightning did not know, is where Shigeko is. She was not to be found so the Lady Purple Lightning has arranged for Mai to keep me company for now. 

Mai is bright and charming. She chatters non-stop and I have a feeling that I will know everything there is to know about the House, in but a few sticks. Once she had helped me dress and return to the guest house, she was good enough to bring me a steaming bowl of noodles with shrimp and vegetables. After having an empty stomach for most of the day, it tasted divine. Since then, she has proved to be capable and efficient. She has anticipated my every need and even some that I did not know I had. She has even suggested some women with whom I might like to be friends.

This morning, I played Go with The Lady Purple Lightning and lost miserably, of course. She had invited two of her friends who were kind enough to suggest that I join them in the Hall for the evening meal. I found that thoughtful and generous and have accepted gladly, Although Mai is not going to let me starve, remaining alone in the guest house is not good for me and it will certainly not help me find what I am looking for. To that end, I must finish this here and dress for dinner or I will not be ready when Lady Yurie and Lady Miho call for me.

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 8.

 I am finding it difficult to lift my mood this afternoon. Haru and the soldiers left for Silent Thunder after the midday meal and she has left behind a cavernous silence which will not be filled. As annoyed as I was by her constant huffing and muttering, I always knew that she would do her best to look after me. Almost as soon as she had gone, an immaculate little thing dressed in Purple Lightning livery came to inform me that she would be taking care of my needs. I believe she said her name was Shigeko but I cannot say that I paid enough mind to be certain.

I did not have much of a chance to really speak to Haru before they left because she was busy packing her things and I did not feel that I could intrude. I did ask her briefly if she would reconsider her decision to leave my network and she said that she would not. I was surprised by that given some of our more recent conversations but I did not press her other than to say I was sad to see her go. I suppose I could have changed her mind had I tried a little harder but... what would have been the point...? She may have capitulated this morning, only to change her mind again once she arrived at home. I shall continue to pay her until I decide where I will settle and then I will have to find a way to inform my brokers about the changes,

And so... the silence in the guest house seems overwhelming. I feel... lonely. It is not something I expected. Even when I have been completely alone, I have always had something to do or something with which to occupy my mind but now, I have reached a stillpoint. I thought when I finally arrived at Purple Lightning, I would feel a renewed sense of purpose; that I would somehow find a way to discover its secrets. Instead, I feel tired and strangely despondent. The House feels impenetrable. The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning are hospitable but distant and clearly suspicious and the thought of joining the Hall for the evening meal makes me feel anxious. I wonder if there is any fruit left in the kitchen. If there is, I will eat that and perhaps I will feel better about things in the morning.

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 7. Postscript.

 I did not have time to go to the library. Just as I had finished my last note, Ichi - The Lady Purple Twilight came to insist that I join her for a game of Go. I am not very good at it despite my love of strategy and almost always lose, but I told her that if she would forgive me for being a poor opponent, I would be delighted to come and play. I expected to go to the Main House but apparently, The Lady Purple Lightning has a small tea house at the edge of the grounds which she likes to use for social activities such as Go and card games and such. 

It is oddly decorated - hung with some pieces of art which are incredibly tasteful and which look like the work of one of the early ink drawing Masters although I am not expert enough to say that with any certainty. Entirely in black, white and red, the paintings are an odd companion to the rest of the room which is furnished with huge, soft cushions and draped with warm fabrics in bold, jewel shades of every hue. In addition to the jarring shock of the colours, there are various floral arrangements around the room - some in the traditional style and some in a style I have never seen before. Stranger yet are the shelves which have been put up around the room and which are covered in what must be hundreds of tiny ornaments; mostly of animals. I have never enjoyed clutter and the thought of spending much time in there at all makes me itch.

I tried to distract myself from the assault on my eyes by concentrating on the paintings. I should love to know if they are original Kenzos but of course, it would be staggeringly rude to ask, so I shall not. They are beautiful paintings though; I found myself quite envious of them. There is a particularly arresting portrait of a crane against a striking background of a bold, red sun. I cannot say why I am so affected by it but the simplicity and the contrast are just breathtaking.

We did not play much Go at all. Rather, I suspect the game was a ruse so that Ic - The Lady Purple Lightning could interrogate me about my reasons for being in Purple Lightning. She did it ever so delicately, of course and were I anybody else, I doubt I would even have noticed that it was happening. I felt reticent and disinclined to tell her anything much so I simply said that Father had suggested I would be welcome at the House and once I had made the decision to run away from home, it seemed logical to try and come here. 

I am not at all sure that The Lady Purple Lightning is convinced but she is far, far too polite to say so out loud. I expect I will find myself the subject of her questions again very soon. I can see that I will have to bide my time before asking any significant questions of my own; I have no doubt that The Lady Purple Lightning will discover what I seek before I have even finished framing my own questions...

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 7.

I enjoyed a very leisurely start to the day and when I did eventually drag myself from the comfort of my bed, I lingered over a delicious breakfast of eggs, rice and fruit. I say, breakfast, it was more like lunch... I could, if I chose, go to the Hall and eat with the rest of the House but since I have yet to make any connections, it would feel strange and awfully lonely to go there and eat by myself. Haru will set out for Silent Thunder tomorrow and once she is gone, I suppose I will have to go to the Hall or I will have to learn to cook... Neither is a particularly enticing prospect but I suppose both are better than starving. 

I must try and get to know some people here; I should probably start by asking Tsuyoshi and Ichiko - there I go again... I must remember to refer to them as respectfully as I would to their faces... The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning... they might be kind enough to introduce me to some of my contemporaries. In the mean time, I will go to the library and see if I can find anything of interest. 

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 6. Postscript.

I did take a walk this morning. It was quite delightful to explore another House. They cannot be expecting rain locally, because they have unfurled the House banners which lie against the wall on either side of the main door. The combination of the purple banners and the white walls looked elegant and bright. I realised, as I looked at them, that the House sigil is a stylised version of the word for 'truth'. I must have known this before; like everyone, I learnt all the House sigils and colours at school but I suppose I have never given it that much thought before. I wonder how significant it is... is the truth actually here at all or was this just Father's way of giving me somewhere to go...?

He cannot have thought that I would go haring off around the countryside on some sort of crusade to help Yuika so perhaps it is he who wrote to Tsuyoshi and Ichiko. If that were the case though, would they not just have sent for me? Unless they thought Mother would not let me go... yet again, I have more questions than answers. Haru was no help at all. When I asked her about it, she claimed to know nothing. Perhaps she was telling the truth, perhaps not; I find it so difficult to tell these days and I am more convinced than ever that most of the people around me are being duplicitous in one way or another.

Aside from the unanswered questions which plagued me, I rather enjoyed my walk in the grounds. Not quite as well manicured as those of Silent Thunder or Dying Crane, it is clear that the gardens are not a priority but they are maintained enough to enjoy being outside. The wildlife is more similar to Pale Twilight's and I was so pleased to find some peacocks on one of the lawns. I find it so amusing that it is the male of the species which preens and prances, making itself look beautiful for the females. Mother despised our peacocks and often complained about how irritating their mewling was; of course that only served to make me like them even more... 

I also caught some small lizards scurrying off as I walked through the statuary garden. And what an unusual place that is! I do not recall any of the other Houses having such a thing but Purple Lightning has constructed a garden full of them. It is at once fascinating and eerie. One might almost say sinister. I know they are only statues but I felt as if the eyes of the dead were watching me; disapproving of my presence there. Perhaps that is why it has been left to fend for itself. There are plaques next to most of the statues to note the name of the person it commemorates as well as their birth and death dates. Perhaps for want of something better to do, I will look them up when I am in the library and see who they were. 

The grass in that particular garden is somewhat overgrown, surrounding the bases of the statues and in some cases, creeping up their legs.  As well as the lizards, I saw plenty of crickets and around one of the statues, there seemed to be an abundance of flies. I do not want to think about what may be attracting them to that spot; there is probably something dead in the overgrowth. I was not going to investigate, that is certain!

Other than the statuary, there is a wonderful lake which is home to some turtles as well as the expected carp. A smaller lake replete with lotuses provides a playground for some exquisite species of dragonfly I have not seen before and there are some large birds which may or may not have been herons. There is far more to explore but after three sticks, I was ready for something to eat and a sit down!

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 6.

Despite the late night to bed, I awoke with the roosters; my mind awash with yet more questions. Why, in all of the Kingdoms, did Mother think the invention of a contagion would convince the other Houses that she was not going to hold a funeral for me? Crying Orchid and Laughing Spider would surely have questioned why she had not closed Pale Twilight's borders... All this thought of contagions made me remember the news about White Lake; I wonder if that has been contained. Evidently it is not enough of a concern for them to have closed their borders, either; if it were, I am sure we would have seen evidence of it as we skirted their Lands on our way here...

The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning obviously knew I was coming here; they were not even remotely surprised to see me. If Kaede has already written to them, why did she bother writing a letter for me to give to them? There is something very strange going on, I know it. I just cannot quite see it. I may ask Haru if she has any thoughts when she comes in to see to my breakfast. 

I was so stunned by the news of my apparent death yesterday, that I struggled to concentrate on the rest of my conversation with the Lord and Lady Purple Lightning. The basis of it was that I am welcome to remain in the guest House as long as I like and I am to consider the House at my disposal. They were very kind. 

Now that I am finally here after so many months, I feel strangely empty. The truth is so close and yet still so far away. I have no idea what to look for or even where to start. I may as well still be in Dying Crane so far away am I from any sort of answers. It has been many, many years since I visited Purple Lightning and I do not really know anyone here. The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning's daughter is about my age and I remember her a little bit but she is with her husband's family so I cannot reconnect with her. I suppose I could ask for some time with either Tsuyoshi or Ichiko... Since they appear to be kindly disposed to me being here, perhaps they would not mind me asking them some questions...

I will see what Haru thinks. Perhaps once I have eaten, I will take a walk around the grounds and explore my new surroundings. It is not nearly so cold here as it was in Silent Thunder so I may not even need a wrap once the morning mists have lifted which will be delightful. 

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 5.

Our arrival was a veritable flurry of activity. When we alighted the horses at the sentry post, a group of liveried men were already waiting to welcome us to  Purple Lightning. Clearly, someone had already let the House know we were on our way. I imagine Horii must have sent a note because I cannot conceive that I am of enough import that Tsuyoshi would have sent scouts to monitor our progress...

We were escorted the remaining three leagues to the House itself and then Haru and I were escorted to the guest house. I am its sole occupant and am to consider it mine until I wish to leave. I was a little put out to discover that I would not be staying at the main House but I suppose since I am reliant on Tsuyoshi and Ichiko's generosity, I really cannot complain about where they choose to give me a bed. I am not certain about their motives for putting me in here but I am grateful to be off the road again and have somewhere comfortable to sleep. 

Haru tells me it is more of an honour to be given the guest house which is certainly luxurious and more importantly, I suppose, private. There is far less possibility of being overheard away from the House unless someone is actively spying.

Two of our escorts brought our effects in and asked if I would like them to unpack. I was taken aback. That is true hospitality and it would have been rude to refuse so I asked them to unpack my larger trunk but suggested that they leave my personal effects for me. I barely had time to wash my hands and face in the bowl of scented water which had been left before they finished and turned to find my clothes all neatly hung, my shoes lined up at the door and a fresh gown which I did not recognise had been laid out for me. 

Before I could even ask their names, they told me that I was expected in The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning's audience chamber in half a stick. Before I knew it, I was stripped off and bundled into the new gown by one of them while the other attempted some make up and tried to do my hair. I caught Haru chortling from the corner of my eye while the one on hair duty tssked and tutted over my newly jaw-length simplicity which she seemed to view as some sort of philosophical affront. In less than a quarter of a stick, I was swept out of the guest house and through the carefully manicured gardens to the main House.

I really must start referring to The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning by their correct titles or I will slip up and use their names to their faces which would be terribly rude. When I shuffled in to the audience chamber, both of them were there to greet me; not attired in House silks but formally dressed nonetheless. 

I did not have time to make due deference or even offer a perfunctory courtesy before The Lord Purple Lightning pulled me into a soldier's clasp of an embrace. "My dear, we all thought you dead!" he practically shouted before shoving me at his wife so she could squeeze me likewise.

I blinked at them, too stunned to even think about bowing properly. "Dead...?" I repeated.

"Dead." The Lady Purple Lightning repeated emphatically. 

I assured them that I was alive and well and I believe I managed a vague bow before they both ushered me over to a tea table laden with some delicious looking confections. I took some tea and upon being advised that the House eats late, I also indulged in some of the potato cakes I enjoy. While I made short work of the refreshments, The Lord Purple Lighting, with periodic interruptions by his wife, told me that a messenger had been sent to the House some time ago asking if anyone might know my whereabouts and some months after that, a second messenger had come to let them know that I had been found, sadly killed after a dreadful accident on horseback. There was to be no funeral, Mother had written, because there was an outbreak at Pale Twilight. 

It makes no sense. No sense at all. Kaede had no idea that I was supposedly dead and neither did Yuika; I am certain one of them would have mentioned it... Aoki would surely have told me if I were supposed to be dead... no... I am missing something. As usual. I am too tired to continue this now. It has been another long day and my stomach is fit to burst from the feast The Lord and Lady Purple Lightning had served this evening. I will sleep and perhaps when I wake, I will be able to make sense of everything.

Year of the Crow, Second Month, Day 3.

 We have arrived! Just as I was about to expire from the sheer boredom of playing cards yet again, reports arrived that Purple Lightning had quelled the bandits' attack once and for all. Given the nature of bandits, I doubt that but as long as they had been banished for long enough for us to reach the House, I did not care.

I have so much to impart but it has been a very long day and the maids will hang the night lanterns shortly so I will write more when I am rested.