Year of the Boar, Fourth Month, Day 25.

My brain feels paralyzed. In the last two weeks I have left my room only to bathe and to eat. Mother has even decided to limit the amount of time I may spend eating and bathing. It really is intolerable. Worse yet, she has somehow managed to reassign my maid. MY MAID. Who does she think she is?! I am simply sick of this. Something must be done, and soon.
The only plan I have been able to come up with so far, is to send a carrier bird to my people at Crying Orchid and have them return on a rescue mission. Of course once I do that... my bridges are burnt. Mother and father will know about my network and our plans for the future of Pale Twilight and all will be lost. On the other hand, I could simply disappear, I suppose... slip quietly into the night and never be heard of again... the downside to that plan is that mother and father would send out search parties from here to the 6th Kingdom and I would never... ever know a moment's rest unless I either found someone to protect and hide me, or.. indeed fled to the 5th or 4th Kingdoms... I know nothing of their customs or lands, there is nothing in the House library at all... mother and father's insularity at work again... This requires more thought...
At the very least I should put some sort of plan together in the eventuality that I do leave Pale Twilight,... Some sort of ... pack... clothing and such... I really do curse the day I was born into this House.