Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 21.

We have finally arrived back at Dying Crane. I have not yet had the chance to speak to Nanami in depth but once Yuika has settled herself, I am sure there will be plenty of time for Nanami to get away for a proper conversation.
I have been given a spacious room with a splendid view of the grounds and Yuika has allocated a maid to attend me; not Nanami, unfortunately, but I may yet gather information from the one I have. Her name escapes me for the moment but I think it is Hitomi. It feels very strange to be in a House, having my every need attended by a string of girls who will not speak to me or look me in the face. It was not really so long ago that this was my life but now that I have tasted independence, it seems wrong.
Yuika has arranged clothing for me and I am to dine with her at the top table so I suppose, to some extent, that she has decided she can trust me. On the other hand, she may simply wish to keep me where she can see me.
The prospect of spending an entire evening alone did not fill me with joy last night and so I am somewhat ashamed to record that I took one of the Nobles to bed. Yuuta Hayashi is a distant cousin to Lady Ichiko of Purple Lighting if I recall correctly. Not that it matters. He was certainly fun and I will probably see him again; he seems to have some of the same tendencies as the Chief. I am unsure whether he was holding back to see how I would react or if he does not enjoy anything more than a little gentle biting. In any case, he was pleasant enough to be with and more assured than the string of stable boys and footmen I bedded before the Chief so I shall enjoy him if he chooses to visit again.
I am unsure what the next few days will hold; I had made up my mind that I was going to leave as soon as I had made sure that Nanami was taken care of financially and that she had returned safely to her grandmother but I find that I am somewhat more tired than I had imagined; now that I have stopped again, I do not relish the thought of returning to the road again so quickly even though I know I must go to Purple Lightning sooner or later. Yuika does not seem bothered whether I am here or not but she is considerably less hostile now than she was when I arrived at the inn in the Seventh. Perhaps we will talk more seriously now that she is on familiar territory.

Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 19.

We cannot be far off the House of Dying Crane now; we crossed the border some while ago and Yuika has agreed that we may stop a while and rest. I have mentioned several times my regret over my actions thus far; I am finding it difficult to reconcile this reality with what I had imagined would be the result of my travails. While we have been travelling, I have come to the decision that I shall remain in Dying Crane only long enough to refresh myself thoroughly and see that Nanami and her grandmother are taken care of and then I shall return the way we have just come and continue on to Purple Lightning. Father wished me to go there and since it appears that I cannot offer Yuika aid, there is little point in staying with her.
While I travelled alone, my mind was occupied with my immediate fears and needs and now that I do not need to worry about where I am going or even about putting one foot in front of another, I have a great deal of time to think... and the Chief comes to my mind again and again. If Yuika was paying any attention to anything other than her own petulant desires, I would be concerned that she would notice the blushes which creep, unbidden, across my cheeks until I am scarlet. I know that I did not dream it; I have scars to prove that but I can scarcely imagine what I was thinking when I lay with him and yet... and yet a part of me wishes myself right back on that boat and in his bed.
A part of me wishes that I were in his bed and that I never had to leave it but my heart has never ruled my head and I have no intention of letting it start now... and yet...

Year of the Boar, Ninth Month, Day 18.

I am tired. I am beginning to understand only too well why Nanami hates horses so very much. I cannot imagine that I will ever want to mount another for as long as I live. Of course, that will no doubt require a lot more walking on my behalf but I think it will probably be worth it ...
Yuika's behaviour continues to baffle me. I have spent so long trying to come to her rescue and I have possibly turned down the one chance I will ever have for fulfilment because of her; I do not know what I was thinking...