Year of the Boar, Fifth Month, Day 17.

Things here have become intolerable; the physician told Mother that I should take a turn aound the garden each morning in order to aid a full recovery from my ... "indisposition"... Indisposition, indeed. He makes it sound as though I were with child...! Mother, though, decided that the physician was being precipitous and that my condition would not be helped by frequent visits outside where I could be "disturbed" by courtiers and the like. In short, she has decided that I am to remain in my quarters for the time being. The physician was my last hope, I really believed that Mother would listen to him... I should have known better.
It has finally occurred to me though, that since my rooms are on the ground floor, with a little careful planning, I could simply climb out of my window and escape through the gardens and out of the Castle grounds, at least. I have begun putting a few things aside, I will have to fashion some sort of pack in which to carry them, and I shall have to time my escape perfectly. There would be nothing more frustrating than effectng an escape only to have the peacocks on the lawns wake the entire castle if I disturbed them... or the dogs... and I have no maps... I have no idea where I am going to go. I do not even think I remember the way to any of the other Houses, the roads look different from a palanquin, and I shall not be able to take the main roads. I risk being caught within days at the most if I travel by roads; unless... unless I find some way to disguise myself... I shall have to think more on this... I could cut off my hair and travel as a boy, I suppose, but where am I to find boys' clothes...? More to the point, where am I to find scissors with which to do the cutting? I have nothing in my rooms, other than silks and my papers. I have so many decisions to make, and I do not seem to be capable of making any of them...