Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 3.

To add to my general feelings of malaise and disappointment with the way things have turned out here at Dying Crane, I have had no news from any of my network in some time. It is particularly irritating since I have no birds with me here to send out for news. I thought some time ago that I must find a way to train more birds but I can scarcely set up an avian training centre in the middle of Yuika's courtyard without telling her what it is for... Although, given her growing paranoia about an incursion from Fallen Sakura (if, indeed, it is paranoia and not well-founded fear), perhaps I may convince her that we can use the birds to spy... I will sleep on it and see if I can think up a convincing tale.
Something must be done, certainly; I cannot sit up here not knowing what is going on in the rest of the Kingdom. It seems very important to me today that I gain some sort of insight into the other Houses for if Dying Crane does go to war with Fallen Sakura, we may be in dire need of an ally and I shall not know where to turn if I cannot find out where allegiances currently lie.
Yuika's behaviour remains erratic. Yesterday, I was her best friend and the saviour of her House; today, I am a devil incarnate. It is my fault Nanami has gone, had I not come here and interfered with the way things are done, Nanami would not have left. This of course is utter nonsense, although if Yuika knew the truth behind why Nanami was ever here in the first place, I don't doubt that I would be thrown out of Dying Crane instantly. I really need to find a replacement for Nanami; perhaps if I felt that there were someone here who could take care of Yuika properly and convince her to make reasonable decisions, I might be able to take a sojourn elsewhere for a few weeks. As things are, I daren't leave Dying Crane for fear that the entire House will go to rack and ruin. The Diplomats seem fairly easy to manipulate but if I leave, I doubt Yuika will handle them. I must give these matters a significant amount of thought.
In the meantime, I have told Yuuta that I do not wish to continue our assignations. I have not told him that he bores me; I felt that would be unnecessarily cruel although I was certainly tempted to take him down a peg or two. I have let him believe that my conscience has got the better of me and that I cannot continue without being wed. He now believes me to be a religious fanatic of sorts which he finds unappealing. He is also disinclined to wed, least of all someone who is not even in line to the throne of a House. Quite who he thinks he will find to marry (should the desire take him), I cannot think for most of the women in direct lineage are long wed or still children. In any case, that is not my concern so long as I am rid of his attentions and so long as I am not forced to shave my head and take holy vows in order to convince him of my moral compass...