Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 1.

The remainder of Rani's visit passed without too much fuss. Yuika made the effort to eat in the Hall and converse politely with Rani and some of her cronies; she even played the koto the evening before last which was extremely pleasant. I do not know what prompted this change of attitude; she simply cannot have got wind of my plans to leave since I have told no one. No one other than Aoki to whom I sent a note yesterday...  So... someone has intercepted my note and this is her attempt to make me change my mind... I am overthinking... perhaps it is nothing of the sort and Yuika is finally coming to her senses. That would be lovely for her... to take back control of her life and her House...
She played the koto so beautifully, it made me wish very deeply that I had some sort of creative talent like hers. It was a piece I had not heard before; to me it sounded very complex although I am sure she would say otherwise and after a movement or two, a singer joined her. Thin, faint ribbons of smoke snaked up from the incense that burned steadily in the corner filling the air with heady, intense scent and I found myself quite lost. I have never taken opium but I imagine that what I felt for those few sticks was similar to the effect of the weed and if it is, I can quite understand the appeal... I was so moved by the crystal tones of the singer that I actually shed some tears... silently, of course; it simply would not have been seemly to weep openly in the Hall but it was as if the stress I have been feeling for the past few months finally bubbled to the surface of my soul...
I have not changed my mind about leaving though. I have been remiss in my mission to find out the truth father wanted me to seek and I feel guilty for not having allowed myself to think of father for months. I have no choice. Now that Rani has gone, I shall sort out my affairs and I shall leave myself within the week...

Year of the Boar, Tenth Month. Day 29.

I have found myself in the unfortunate position of having to plaster my face with that dreadful cosmetic that was the fashion for some while. My face has turned several unusal shades of purple and I cannot be seen around the House looking like this; it would be too humiliating. I can see women wondering why I have chosen to start wearing cosmetics again but that mild curiosity is far better than everyone I see stopping to ask about my injuries... I do not know which is worse, the pain of the bruises or the constant itch of the cream I have used to cover them...
I insisted on speaking with Rani this morning and our somewhat icy conversation revealed nothing I can be sure is the truth. She appears to be honest but I have no earthly way to be sure... Rani insists that if she is running any of my people, she is unaware of it and course she refused to name any of her spies. I am not surprised. I would not have told me either. Then again; I would never have revealed my network at all... I do not blame Ryouko; she was hardly likely to tell me that she was working for another mistress... Rani has also given her word that no one will find out about my network from her or any of her people whom she insists are absolutely loyal. She swore to me that she did not reveal the existence of my network to Yuika and I suppose, than until Yuika lets it be known otherwise, I have no choice but to accept her word...
If she can be believed, Rani's route through the Kingdom will make Purple Lightning her final stop so she can go straight over the border from there which make sense and is likely what I would have chosen to do in her position. I have decided though, that this would be an ideal opportunity to meet with Aoki in Shimmering Dawn and have him train some more birds to find me. I do not wish to give up my network if I do not have to and if I leave the Kingdom, it will be useful to know that I have not cut ties completely. I have sent him word this morning which I hope gives him plenty of time to acquire new birds and to meet me close to the border with Fallen Sakura because I would not wish to make my presence known to Shinshinousuke and Rina. Once the birds are trained, I will double back on myself, visit Nanami and try to persuade her to go with me since obviously, I will no longer be asking Ryouko and then I will travel to Purple Lightning on the same route I took before so that I can avoid Fallen Sakura's Lands...

Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 28.

Damn the gods. Damn them to all Seven of their Hells and back again. As if the possibility of my network falling apart were not problematic enough, I now have a black eye and an extremely bruised jaw to contend with since Yuuta decided to try and exact some revenge for the injury I casused him. I am relieved to report that I escaped unscathed save for the bruises and the fright, and Yuuta now resides in a cell but I will not deny that the incident did frighten me and it took me some while to right myself today.
I woke in the small hours to an unknown presence in my bed; a weight pressing me down into the mattress. My mind was slow with the dullness of sleep and I did not know if I were dreaming until Yuuta spoke. I will not defile my pages with his filth but it amounted to the fact that he was unimpressed by my outspokenness in relation to his advances and even less impressed with the injury I had done his person.
Such was my shock, I could not move or even make my throat work so I could scream. I lay rigid as he hissed poison into my ears and his hand wrenched at the fabric of my nightclothes between my thighs. It was not until his fingers made contact with bare flesh that I came to my senses and woke enough to struggle.
Naturally I sleep with a knife nearby and I do not know not how I did it but I was able to arch away from Yuuta just enough to wrap my hand around it and thrust it into his side. It was enough to gain some leverage and scramble away from him towards the door but in the dark, I could not see well enough and tripped giving Yuuta time to grab my hair and slam my face into the floor in an attempt to stop me from escaping. By then, my screams had alerted the guards and I was saved from a far worse fate.
I was terribly frightened and trembled for several sticks but the fear has left me now and its place there is a white hot anger. I am furious with myself for not realising the danger in which I had put myself and I am angry for not dealing with Yuuta more appropriately the first time he attempted to assault me. I am angry for never having anticipated that other Rulers would also run spies and even angrier that I ever came to Dying Crane in the first place.
I will see out Rani's visit and then I am leaving. I do not intend to tell Yuika that my departure will be permanent; I could not deal with the arguments. Rather, I will tell her I need a holiday and once I have arrived at Purple Lightning, I will send word that I am not coming back. The actions of a coward do not sit well with me but I cannot put myself through any more of this nonsense.

Year of the Boar, Tenth Month. Day 27, Postscript.

I am almost amused to report that Rani has already made her move which was to tell Yuika that she has a network of spies about the Kingdom and that Ryouko is one of them. Yuika's response to that was to return to her chamber, dismiss all of the maids from the ante-chamber until further notice and she has refused to allow anyone to go into her chamber since.
I believe she ate early on in the day but she certainly has not eaten since she returned from her talk with Rani. She has been heard crying and screaming periodically and I am at a loss to know quite whether I should open the door and go in to see if I can at least calm her down or whether I should simply let her get on with it.
I am furious about the fact that Rani has some sort of network across the Kingdom; it puts my own at risk. I am concerned that some my own agents may in fact, also be working for her and I am livid that I have never considered this before. More than that, I am now in an untenable position in Dying Crane since Ryouko obviously told her mistress that I had asked her to work for me and I do not know whether she has imparted this information to Yuika. If she has, I cannot be sure whether she has simply said that Ryouko was working for me or whether she has let the existence of my network be known. It would certainly explain the tantrums and I do not see that I have any choice but to confront Rani directly and ask her what she has told Yuika because I must know whether any of my people are in danger as a result of being discovered.
Speaking of my network, a bird arrived a little while ago with the news from Silent Thunder that Kaede is almost certainly bedding Sasanuma. It is of little consequence but I suppose it is nice that at least someone is experiencing a little happiness...news from elsewhere has been scant and I must find a way to stop all communications for the time being. I could do without this. Once I have spoken to Rani and established the extent of the damage, I intend to continue my travels and go to Purple Lightning.

Year of the Boar, Tenth Month, Day 27.

It occurs to me that I cannot trust anything Ryouko might tell me regarding Rani since I know now that it is she who is Rani's spy. It occurred to me sometime ago, as I recall, that Ryouko is possessed of too much knowledge to simply be a maid and other than Namami, no one else is close enough to Yuika and clever enough to be a spy.  Since Nanami could not possibly be in Rani's pay, that really only left Ryouko. I say Nanami could not possibly be in Rani's pay, of course it is possible but I have known her since we were children and I knew deep in my soul that whatever her feelings about Yuika, she would never betray me in that way. At least I like to think so...
Regardless, I decided that I simply had to know one way or another and so I confronted Ryouko about my suspicions this morning. To her credit, she did not even try to obfuscate; instead, she told me that she has been sending information back to her Kingdom for some years. The story she told me about generations of her family having worked for Dying Crane was complete nonsense - Ryouko tells me that the truth of the matter is that her father was of Dying Crane but her mother is of the Sixth. I do not know whether that is, indeed the truth but I see no reason she would lie about that when she had been truthful about her mistress.
Of course now I find myself in a pretty pickle since I am responsible for having put Ryouko even closer to Yuika and I have given myself away in the process. I did not question Ryouko in too much detail about precisely what information she has given to Rani but I must assume that the existence of my own network has featured.
I am unsure how to proceed. I would ordinarily be inclined to confront Rani but now that she seems to have Yuika under her spell, I believe that would be an incredibly bad idea. On the other hand, since I have yet to determine her motives, would I not potentially be putting Yuika in danger by allowing Rani to continue unchecked...? I suppose that by now, Ryouko has told her mistress that the jig is up so to speak so perhaps I should simply allow Rani to make the next move...