Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 1.

The remainder of Rani's visit passed without too much fuss. Yuika made the effort to eat in the Hall and converse politely with Rani and some of her cronies; she even played the koto the evening before last which was extremely pleasant. I do not know what prompted this change of attitude; she simply cannot have got wind of my plans to leave since I have told no one. No one other than Aoki to whom I sent a note yesterday...  So... someone has intercepted my note and this is her attempt to make me change my mind... I am overthinking... perhaps it is nothing of the sort and Yuika is finally coming to her senses. That would be lovely for her... to take back control of her life and her House...
She played the koto so beautifully, it made me wish very deeply that I had some sort of creative talent like hers. It was a piece I had not heard before; to me it sounded very complex although I am sure she would say otherwise and after a movement or two, a singer joined her. Thin, faint ribbons of smoke snaked up from the incense that burned steadily in the corner filling the air with heady, intense scent and I found myself quite lost. I have never taken opium but I imagine that what I felt for those few sticks was similar to the effect of the weed and if it is, I can quite understand the appeal... I was so moved by the crystal tones of the singer that I actually shed some tears... silently, of course; it simply would not have been seemly to weep openly in the Hall but it was as if the stress I have been feeling for the past few months finally bubbled to the surface of my soul...
I have not changed my mind about leaving though. I have been remiss in my mission to find out the truth father wanted me to seek and I feel guilty for not having allowed myself to think of father for months. I have no choice. Now that Rani has gone, I shall sort out my affairs and I shall leave myself within the week...