Year of the Boar, Fifth Month, Day 22.

It occurred to me that I could use one of my pillow cases in which to carry my effects when I make my escape although I have yet to have any inspiration regarding attire. I become increasingly frustrated at the inertia which grips me; with each passing minute I think of yet another thing to which I must give my attention before I leave and yet I remain powerless to address any of them...
The latest thought to bother me is the fact that when I make my escape, it will have to be at night. I cannot possibly make any attempt to leave during the day; my disappearance should be noticed immediately and I think Mother would throw me in the dungeons without a second thought. Yet if I make my departure at night time, how on earth shall I see? It occurs to me that in order to make an entirely safe escape and give myself the time necessary to put some distance between me and Pale Twilight, I shall have to leave in the very dead of night when even the servants have gone to bed for the night. What that means, is that the lawns will be completely dark, and so will the roads. I can scarcely draw attention to myself by carrying a lantern but neither can I wander around the countryside in complete darkness... anything might befall me. Such is my frustration that I would scream if it would not draw Mother's attention to me.