Year of the Boar, Fifth Month, Day 29.

I curse my own stupidity; these past two days I have actually been confined to my bed for a genuine reason. Having formed the plan whereby I would attempt to navigate my way as far as the Castle gates in the dead of night, in order to familiarise myself with the route in the dark, the night before last, I did exactly that. Unfortunately, no sooner had I climbed out of window than I stumbled and twisted my ankle. I say... twisted... I believed at first that I had broken it, so hard did I wrench it. The pain when I even tried to move it was indescribable. I could not put any weight on it at all and I do not know how long it was before I summoned the strength to drag myself back through my window and into my bed, but it was a long time. I grew cold as I sat on the ground in the dark and each time I heard the slightest sound, I cowered like a frightened child, afraid I would be discovered. I tried several times to get up and complete my "mission" but each time I pulled myself to my feet waves of nausea washed over me and I believed I would lose consciousness. The pain did not appear to be receding at all and by the time I heard the peacocks shifting about just before dawn, I knew I had no choice but to somehow get myself back into my room. Explaining to Mother how I came to have injured myself was not much fun either - I had no time to think of a plausible reason for me to have done myself such harm in a room which, though spacious, has no shelving or high seating. In the end, I arranged myself on the floor in my sleeping down and lay there, pretending to be unconscious until someone came in with breakfast, and then I claimed that I remembered nothing and had no idea how I had to come to be out of my bed or to have sustained the injury. Obviously, Mother did not believe a word of it, and there followed an enormous row during which I alternatively claimed utter ignorance and wept in pain until she went away, seething and muttering about my duplicity.
My time grows even shorter, I am convinced that somehow Mother knows what I am about... but until my foot has healed completely, I dare not even attempt an escape. My little forray did little to help me, except demonstrate to me, just how difficult it will be...