Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 12. Postscript.

 Although it is somewhat warmer in Silent Thunder than it is in the extreme north, it is still not what I could call comfortably warm and once I had eaten a wonderful breakfast of eggs and seasoned rice, I crawled back under my blankets to mull over the Rani issue while I waited for Haru to wake up. After about three sticks, she had still not woken and I still had no answers, so I decided to go and see what information I could glean from the smallholders. Under the guise of offering what assistance I could in return for the hospitality, I found myself collecting eggs from the chicken houses around and about, while keeping an ear out for any morsels of gossip I might use to my advantage. The pickings were slim both in terms of the eggs and the information I sought and I felt a pang of guilt at having polished off so many eggs for breakfast. I have added the smallholders to the steadily growing list of those I must find a way to compensate somehow... 

When Haru finally awoke and had eaten some fish and rice, she had good colour to her cheeks and announced that she felt much better. I was pleased about that because I do not think I could have added her ill-health to my conscience as well as everything else I appear to have got spectacularly wrong of late. At present she does not seem to bear me any ill will which I suppose is a relief of sorts; we had a good talk once she had finished her meal and according to Haru, I am vastly over thinking this entire affair. She does not see any reason why I cannot enter the House unseen at the servants' entrance. She will hide me in her room and find supplies for me and then I can be on my way the same way I went in... 

I wish I was possessed of such confidence! There is nothing for it but to try it, I suppose and if it goes to plan, while I will not have been able to indulge myself in a few days of luxury as I had hoped, it will not be a catastrophe... It would be an overstatement to say that I am feeling entirely positive but I am more inclined to feel hopeful than I did a sevenday ago.

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 12.

 I am not proud to admit that I am all but snarling as I write this. We are but two or three days away from the outskirts of the House depending on how leisurely the pace but the gods really do seem determined to thwart any plan I might make. 

I slept deeply and comfortably, vague dreams floating across now and again, touching my thoughts so lightly, I could remember only that I dreamt and not, of what... I woke slowly, still in that dreamlike state between sleep and consciousness; stretching cat-like and luxuriating in the warmth of the blankets which covered me. From the light coming through the screen doors and the crispness of the air outside the blankets, I surmised it was early morning and I became dimly aware of the smallholders calling out to each other as they began their working days. 

Yawning deeply, I checked to see if Haru had woken; she had not and so I rolled over, pulled the blankets in tighter and curled into a ball ready to sink back into sleep. I felt content. Pleased that despite the tribulations we had experienced, I was about to hand Haru back to her employer relatively safe and sound, spend a few days indulging myself in some home comforts at the House, and then get back to my plans. 

And then I heard the words "visitor to the House" and "Sixth Kingdom". My blood ran completely cold; in the days since I had left Dying Crane, I had allowed myself to completely forget about Rani and her intentions to go about the rest of the Kingdom and indeed, her schedule for doing so... Naturally, she arrived yesterday; there is no feasible way that she will leave before the sevenday is out... I have absolutely no desire to be about the House while she is there. Although she promised that my secrets would remain precisely that, I never revealed the reason for my sojourn in Dying Crane other than to say I had gone there to support my friend; I fear that the moment she recognised me, my whereabouts would be all over the Kingdom and that could only lead to Mother issues... 

So now I find myself with the problem of ensuring that Haru returns home safely (which I absolutely must do), replenishing my supplies fully, and then getting back on the road without being noticed which will be a good deal more difficult with a House full of so many extra people... I am so annoyed but perhaps I am overthinking this... I have doubt that a woman as astute as Rani will remember me but maybe there is a chance I could rely on her discretion...  What is needed in this situation is a decent breakfast; perhaps once I have eaten and Haru has woken up, the two of us can decide how to proceed...

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 11.

 It seems that for some reason known only to them, the gods have seen fit to blight this journey with difficulty. As if being held captive by bandits were not enough, Haru and I found ourselves at the mercy of a wolf... From a distance, I have long admired wolves; they seem to be creatures of great intelligence and cunning; qualities I cannot help but admire but having encountered one very close up, I must say that I have no intentions of ever seeking out their company again... 

During the day, we had travelled at a very slow pace since we are both so tired that even riding seems exhausting; we stopped many times to rest and it is quite possible that we spent more sticks resting than actually travelling... We must, of course, press on since we cannot just give up and live in the middle of the woodland where food is scarce unless one is a skilled hunter, and water, even scarcer. We had barely even managed to converse, let alone enjoy the boisterous banter we shared at the start of our journey and found ourselves moving more and more slowly until by some mutual agreement, Haru slipped off the horse and tethered her to an overhanging branch and I kicked some twigs together to create a half-hearted fire. 

Twilight approached and it was as if the events of late had caught up with me; I simply could not go any further. A glance at Haru suggested that she felt the same; she looked as though the slight weight of her own body was just too much to hold up. She did manage to feed and water the horse while I took food out of our pack put some water over the fire to boil for tea. As if a sudden veil had been drawn across the sky, night fell and with it the temperature. We sat in silence for a while, both of us staring morosely into the feeble flames and then presumably I fell asleep. I remember nothing except waking in total darkness to the sound of the horse whinnying and rearing in terror. A muffled scream from Haru confirming that there was some sort of danger. 

For a few moments, I felt a consuming panic, afraid of the unknown. Once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I could see moonlight filtering through clouds; straining to light the night forest and for a fraction of a stick, I wished it had remained completely dark. Never again do I wish to see the open jaws of a snarling wolf so close to my face. If these records I have been keeping show nothing else, I believe they will show that I not afraid of very much but in that moment, I felt absolute terror. It was absolutely paralysing. It was as if my stomach and my knees had turned to water; I could not move and I could not think clearly. In fact, my only thought was that I could not save Haru or the horse from the beast.

The sound of the horse's distress was almost more than I could bear and Haru's screams sounded bloodcurdling. I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the giant fangs which threatened to tear the skin from my face and in that moment, I prepared myself for death. Death, it seemed, was clearly not interested in us that night for in that tiny fraction of a stick, the image of fire came to me. Yes, I thought to myself, forest animals will stay away from fire... I must have read that somewhere for I certainly do not remember learning it as such; it may not even be true but as it was probably the only chance we had to survive, I suppose I was willing to at least try it.

Keeping my voice as low and as calm as I could manage under the circumstances, I called out to Haru telling her not to be afraid but to very slowly get into the pack and reach for the flint. She could not, she screamed back; the pack had been next to me... I must admit that the language which came out of my mouth in response to that was most certainly not befitting of my station and under other circumstances, might actually have been comical.

As slowly as I could, I felt around beside myself for the pack, never taking my eyes from the wolf, which continued to snarl and I can only think that Haru and the horse provided a minimal distraction for it seemed to look between them and me as if weighing up its chances before attacking. It felt as if my fingers searched around for an eternity before finally finding the pack which I had been lying on. Breathing hard with a sort of relief, I managed to pull the flint out and pushed one into my free hand. Uttering a brief prayer to the woodland gods in whom I have never really believed, I brought the flints together as fast and hard as I could and hoped that the spark would be enough.

It did not work as well as it might have but the wolf certainly did not like the spark and jumped back just a little which gave me the time I needed to strike again, this time over some twigs which, thanks to whichever gods were watching, caught fire. That really did give the wolf pause and it backed off a little further although it continued its low growl and narrowed its eyes as if trying to decide whether continuing to harass us was worth the effort. Haru seemed to suddenly pull herself together and I found a larger branch thrust into my hands which I lit and brandished in what I hoped was a vaguely menacing manner. I am the alpha, not you, wolf, I told it silently and at last, it turned tail and sloped off into the forest.

I wanted to collapse back into ground but I knew I must take care of the horse. I told Haru to sort out the fire and went to stroke the horse's neck and nose, telling her softly that the danger had passed. Eventually, she too calmed; I leaned against her, continuing to talk to her and stroke her neck until she seemed to fully right herself. We would remain awake with the fire until dawn, I told Haru and then we will not stop until we reach the next hamlet. She nodded her agreement and we spent the rest of the night drinking tea and eating dried meat. As soon as daylight made its appearance, we stamped out the fire and began walking.

We arrived at the hamlet after almost a day and a half of walking. I do not know how either of us has managed it; to say that we were exhausted before seems to be hugely overstating the matter for now, neither of us was able to move or even talk for what seemed like sticks on end. Once we had secured shelter and a welcome from the people who live here, we sat for a long while saying nothing; neither of us wanting to address the fear we had witnessed in the other. Eventually, I mustered the energy to suggest we actually slept. 

I woke a little while ago and thought I would record these latest events but once I have finished, I will let sleep embrace me once again and I will not concern myself over how long I remain with him...

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 8.

 We have stopped for respite since it is clear that the horse is tired. We have made good time as Tokiko said we would and I am glad to note that the map has been invaluable. What I did not have time to record when I last made an entry was that these ancient ways of which she spoke are in fact, marked by small piles of stones. There is a certain stone in each pile which is marked in a particular way so that travellers know in which direction they should go to reach the next pile. Apparently, these routes are long established; those who are familiar with the ancient ways do not really need them but they remain nonetheless. What I have not been able to establish is whether someone takes care of the stones... how do they stay as they are...? How are the markings not worn away by weather or animals or simply someone who wishes to make mischief...? Perhaps I can find out when I reach Purple Lightning; the library there is extensive...

Once we were clear of anything even remotely resembling an inhabited area, Haru and I had a long talk about what is to happen once we reach the House. I was right to suspect that she is having second thoughts about her involvement in my network and since she has no ties to Pale Twilight or to me, personally, there is no deep loyalty to make her stay with me. I understand this but I do not like it. I have, of course, no choice but to let her go and to be understanding about it, at least to her face because if I do not, the consequences could be dire.

We have agreed that she will continue to help me at least until I reach Purple Lightning. After that, I will continue to pay her for the rest of the year during which time, she will not need to act on my behalf although she has agreed that in the event of any news which may be catastrophic, she will make sure that I am kept informed... I am not at all pleased about this but if I want to ensure the integrity of my network, I do not see that I could have made another offer. 

I must end this and tidy my pages away before Haru wakes to take watch for a while so that I can snatch some sleep for a stick or two. I am hopeful that the House is no more than a day and a half away now but I suppose I should not tempt fate by noting such things...

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 6.

 After another night which was as comfortable as it could be, we have enjoyed a solid breakfast of rice porridge and trimmings; it has never been my favourite but has certainly set us up well for what is likely to be a hard day's travel. The weather is cool but certainly not cold by any means so I do not anticipate it being unpleasant and have decided that while it may be a little slower, where possible, we will take it in turns to ride while the other walks. This we will do until the horse tires and needs to rest at which point, we will make camp. 

Of course thanks to our encounter with the bandits, we do not have everything we need for travelling; managing to escape with only what we could carry in our arms while fumbling around to get the horse. It is annoying but arguably, we could have faced far worse so we must make the most of what we have and hope that we do not meet with further misfortune before we reach the House. I am loathe to ask the small-holders to extend us more favour since I cannot give them anything in return. I could, I suppose offer them some of the coin I have concealed in my clothing but I really do not want to draw attention to that unless I absolutely have to. It may lead to more questions than I wish to answer; added to which, it must last until I reach Purple Lightning and at the rate this journey is going, who knows when that will be...?

Haru has been rather quiet this past day or two; small wonder when this was not at all what she agreed to. When we are back on the road and as far away from anyone who would listen as we can be, I will ask her if she wishes to disengage herself from my employ. I would not blame her; of course none of this was ever the plan. We will also have to explain how it is that we managed to send word of her capture to Silent Thunder while not being at the bandits' camp when help arrived. I think we will simply say that we did not know whether the soldiers were friend or foe since we could not see their banners when the fighting began and made an opportunist escape attempt which by good fortune rather than design, happened to work...

It is not a good story; will Haru's superiors at the House believe it... I do not know... I also do not yet know whether I should be honest about my own identity... Is anyone likely to believe that either...? I do not look like the heir to the throne of Pale Twilight and I have no way to prove that I am who I say I am... this is a conundrum which I will not solve by scribbling in these pages this morning. Haru may have some thoughts about the matter and when it is safe to do so, we will have a long conversation. In the meantime, I must gather my things, and we must be on our way.

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 5.

 The farmers assured me that although it is not unheard of for bandits to appear in the vicinity, it is far more likely that they are either still occupied with the fighting or they have decided we are not worth the effort of recapture. If they were interested in pursuing us, they say, we would already have been returned to their camp, There is small comfort in that, I suppose. I have not let them know who I am, choosing instead to maintain the fiction that Haru and I are sisters on our way back to the House having mistaken the direction and run into the bandits. 

I tried to gain as much information as I could without arousing suspicion for as kind as the small-holders have been, I do not know them and have no idea where their allegiances might lie. They have a leader of sorts; Tokiko, a wizened woman who must be at least in her eighth decade and yet possessed of a full head of hair so thick it makes mine look as if it is thinning... She wears it in an enormous braid which she wraps right around her head several times. The suspicious side of my nature wonders when a small-holder has time to be taking care of hair like that but of course, I cannot ask... She is certainly shrewd and possesses vast knowledge of the local landscape so we have been able to plot out a new route back to the House which she has drawn on our map for us.  She has also confirmed the date. It may be that my entries over the past few days are not dated quite correctly but I do not see that it matters so long as I can correct it now...

It occurs to me to wonder, not for the first time, whether this hamlet is a little too conveniently placed and that just because I have not heard of other Houses having a network similar to mine, does not mean there are none... In fact, if I ever settle in a House again, I will make certain to expand my network considerably so that I have people placed everywhere. The birds are useful but have their limits; were I to have hamlets like this strategically placed around and about, messages could come and go far more frequently and in less time than it would take to wait for a bird to return. Of course I will also make sure that I have far more birds available to make sending word much easier... 

Ah well, these thoughts will not do me much good now. I must concentrate on the task at hand and get Haru safely home and then be on my way. Since we were both incredibly tired and do not foresee any immediate danger, I have decided that we will stay one more night so that we are fully rested and can make good time on the rest of our journey. If we take Tokiko's new route, we will be able to save ourselves several days but we must, she says, prepare ourselves to travel through field and woodland; there are no proper roads or indeed many places to stop save for one or two more small-holdings before we reach the outskirts of the House grounds. These are the ways of those who live outside the immediate confines of the House; these are the routes which have been taken by poachers, messengers and traders for hundreds of years...

Messengers, she says.... why would small-holders have a need to send messages anywhere at speed...? Then again, my history lessons did not teach me much outside the ways of the Nobility so what would I know...?

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 4.

Thankfully, it transpired that Haru was correct about the existence of a hamlet. The horse is resting, as are we. The people here are farmers of a sort, making a living from their small-holding from which they supply the House with wool as well as supplying a few of the larger villages with eggs. I understand from Haru that Kaede particularly favours this wool due its exceptionally high quality hence her knowledge of it although she could not be certain from the extremely rudimentary map we have, that it was the same place. I am very glad it was. 

We were welcomed warmly although offered with a suggestion that more comfort would be found in a larger village a further day's ride south. There was no justification in pushing the horse like that; in fact, I find myself reluctant to push her any further at all and may see if the farmers wish to keep her as recompense for their hospitality since we can offer little else. That would, of course, leave me with yet another problem but I have no desire to have a dead horse on my conscience.

In any case, for now, we shall rest a while, enjoy some proper food and some sleep. Tomorrow is another day and perhaps with it will come fresh inspiration.

Year of the Boar, Twelfth Month, Day 2.

 Again, we stop as briefly as possible; I remain unsure as to whether or not we are being pursued. We have travelled without stopping but for the shortest of necessary breaks, taking it turns to nap while the other directs our horse. 

I am afraid the horse will tire and become ill if we cannot stop for a significant amount of time soon but Haru agrees that we must get much closer to the House itself before taking that risk. I do not know what to do for the best. The plains in the north west seem to stretch for eternity; bleak and barren, there is no shelter and nowhere to hide. Haru believes that there is a hamlet within another day's ride where we might find respite; I hope she is right. Perhaps we can risk walking for a short while at least so as to allow the horse some sort of rest. For now though, we must eat, relieve ourselves and then resume our travels.

Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 31.

 I am recording this entry as if it is day 31, but truth be told. I base this on an approximation and cannot say with certainty how much time has passed since last I wrote in these pages. I write only so that the events of the past few days are recorded and not forgotten but I write with haste ...

We mistook our direction... I say "we"... it was my fault entirely. I did not pay enough attention to the map and as a result, we wandered off course. Perhaps one day I shall come back to these pages and write a full and frank account of what occurred but for now, it shall suffice for me to say that we had the misfortune to find ourselves close to where the borders of three Houses meet; an area known to attract bandits and other miscreants who prey on travellers who are vulnerable due to the sparsity of populated areas in that region. This is where Kenta was killed as he tried to defend White Lake's people from such attacks. 

In the first instance, we managed to evade them but we were not fast enough nor prepared enough for a fight with hungry, angry men whose sole purpose in life is to fight and to steal. It was perhaps a day or two of trying to escape their attention when we were caught in a trap. With the benefit of hindsight, I must admire their tactics for they were indeed impressive in how they chased us right into the hands of a second cohort and there was no way out. Haru of course, carried no coin and on the advice of Aoki, I had spent some time stitching the majority of my coin into the hems of my clothing just in case any thieves saw us as an easy mark. 

Haru did most of the talking in the hope that we could convince them we were merely sisters returning to work at the House after visiting family in the north. We could not convince them to let us go with the small amount of coin I had in my pouch; it seemed instead that we were to be their prizes and so we found ourselves surrounded and driven to their current hideout. There was no point in even attempting to use the knives I still have secreted about my person because there were just too many of the bandits; I could perhaps have done some damage to one or two of them but that would likely have seen an end to my own life at the hands of the rest... so I chose instead, to surrender quietly.

We were not harmed physically which I found quite surprising but it was made quite clear that there would be consequences should we not take care of the camp in the way they expected. Had the situation not been so dire, I would actually have laughed out loud - the very idea that any of them expected me to cook... or do laundry... ! After a few sticks, I came up with a half-baked plan which was essentially that Haru would be more distressed about the wrath of her Mistress than she was afraid of them so I had her start to fret and when she could not cry on command, I am afraid that when no one was paying too much attention, I made sure she cried. 

I hoped that this would annoy them so much, they would decide that we needed to be sent packing. That did not work but in a moment of really quite staggering stupidity, the head man agreed to send word to Silent Thunder that Haru would not be returning as she now resided with them... Naturally Silent Thunder's response to that was to send a contingent to reclaim their "property"... In the fight which ensued, I made my escape and dragged Haru with me. 

We only have one horse now and I shall have to find a way to get Haru back to Silent Thunder before I can continue with my plans but for now, we have finished the smallest meal of fruit we managed to pick and as I am not convinced we are not being followed, we must get back on the horse and try to get as far away from bandit country as fast as we can...

Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 10.

 As anticipated, last evening was a delightful affair; the minstrels were superb and I felt a wave of nostalgia at hearing some tunes which are popular in the south of the Kingdom. It dissipated quickly once memories of growing up under Mother's regime surfaced and I grew angry as I thought about her treatment of me and of Father. The wonderful atmosphere in the inn did not allow me to dwell upon those feelings however, and, before long, I found myself tipsy from mead and dancing along with everyone else. If this is what it is like to live without constraints, to behave freely without having to concern oneself with ancient traditions which have no relevance to modern times, without having to worry about Mother's reaction ... I believe I shall like it very much...

I shall not, however, enjoy living with the regret of the evening before... I woke with the most dreadful headache and felt extremely nauseous as did Haru and Keita. The result of too much mead, they tell me. It is not as if I have never drunk an excessive amount of alcohol but this ... mead... it is stronger than anything I have experienced being served at Court... I am told one can develop a tolerance for it over time but it is probably wise to drink significantly less of it than we did last night. 

I could not very well demand that Haru and Keita remained another night and so I was faced with a choice, stay and relax another day to rid myself of this awful feeling and continue alone, or pull myself together and get back on the horse regardless of how dreadful the day was likely to be. I chose the latter; I decided that I preferred to travel with company as far as I could. Keita has now gone east towards Golden Harvest while Haru and I remain together in a vaguely south westerly direction. 

After a perfectly horrid stick or two of trying to stay on the horse and having to stop several times to assuage the nausea that overwhelmed us both, we agreed that we would walk until such time as we felt well enough to ride again. Unfortunately, that time did not come and so we have travelled significantly less distance than I had anticipated. I have told Haru that if she feels well in the morning and I do not, she is to go on without me. As it is now, I do not foresee myself having recovered sufficiently to ride tomorrow but we shall see. 

For now, the light is dying and we are tired and although the night does not promise to be comfortable, I believe sleep will come quickly. 

Year of the Boar, Eleventh Month, Day 9.

 As I predicted in my entry yesterday, today's ride was long and extremely tiring but we have at last reached an inn so that I am not faced with the prospect of an uncomfortable night on woodland ground littered with stones and twigs and beset by whichever crawling insects decide to wage war on my sleeping body. I have realised that despite my protestations to the contrary, I am a product of my upbringing; I am too used to the luxuries my status has given me ... I shall be very glad of the hot, scented bathwater into which I am about to sink, but before I retire for the evening, I wanted to at least document the very basics of the day. 

Haru and I part ways with Keita tomorrow as he will make his way back to Golden Harvest; Haru will travel with me as far as she can towards the narrowest part of White Lake's lands and from there, I will be alone again until Kouji can meet me at the border and from there, the fastest route through their lands until we reach the House. I still have no plan in place for my arrival there but I will have plenty of time to discuss it with Kouji while we travel. I say that, of course I only sent the bird to Kouji today and it will be another day or two before his response reaches me so I cannot say with certainty that any of this will actually transpire. 

Today passed without incident other than stopping for a brief respite to take some refreshment and send the message I had scribbled to Kouji. The three of us spent some sticks in companionable silence other than to comment on various wildlife we spotted in the fields but we also spent time joking and laughing. Had we not been on horseback, it would have been absolutely marvellous. The weather is bright and cool as usual for this time of year and it was tempting to get off the horse and walk a while but I cannot be reposnsible for holding Haru and Keita back from their duties or for their loyalty to me being discovered by their Houses, so I remained on horseback and suffered through the discomfort. Once I am alone again, I may take the opportunity to slow my pace a little and enjoy the feeling of not having to ride.

It has occurred to me to wonder about Haru's motives for joining my network; I suppose I could question the motives of the entire network if I thought too deeply about it but since most of them grew up in Pale Twilight before moving elsewhere, I feel that their loyalty is more likely to be ingrained and I have a personal connection with most of them since they were about the House and grounds when I was growing up myself. Haru is one of the only members of the network who has not been recruited from the inside, so to speak... I find this odd and wonder why she would want to work for another House when it is not as if she works for an abusive mistress. If her motives are financial, which is not unlikely, then who is to say that she will not change her allegiance for a House which offers her more, or could she be doing this with Kaede's knowledge and blessing...?

I must stop thinking like this; it will do me no good at all to churn over every decision Aoki makes. I must continue with my plans as if all is well. If something happens in the meantime to make me change my mind, then I can act accordingly but for now, there is no point in dwelling on that which I cannot control. 

I have had no news from any of the other Houses these past few days but that is fairly inconsequential; as they say, no news, is probably not bad news... For now, I will take my bath and then I will join Haru and Keita for an evening meal. I am told there is a lute player in residence for a sevenday or so, so we shall have music and song while we eat. It promises to be an enjoyable evening...