Year of the Boar, Thirteenth Month, Day 13.

 I decided to join the rest of the House for the midday meal earlier today. I had forgotten how loud the clamour of a Household eating together is. It felt deafening and overwhelming. I tried to concentrate on the music coming from the corner of the Hall but it was very difficult to filter out the chatter and the clattering of crockery. I realised that this is how Yuika feels every time she sets foot in the Hall and I felt another pang of guilt at how I have left things. 

Once I had finished eating, I returned to my room and wrote to her at length. I did not go into great detail but I explained that the time had come for me to do as Father suggested and go to Purple Lightning. I also let her know that Kaede would be a friend to her and that she can consider Silent Thunder an ally. That may be precipitous and somewhat presumptuous of me but I am sure that if Fallen Sakura makes good on his promise to take Dying Crane, Kaede will not stand idly by. I have not sent it yet. Haru will find out when a messenger can be spared to make the journey to Dying Crane and it can go then. I do not how Yuika will respond to it; I suppose that depends on her mood when she receives it. In any case, there is little point in concerning myself with that now. I will worry about it when it happens.

I felt restless after I had sealed it; unsettled, although I could not say why. I decided to take a turn around the gardens in the hope that it would calm me. Haru was not at all happy about having to go outside in what she called 'freezing conditions'. I had to smile at that and when she asked me what was so funny, I reminded her that it rarely even snows in the Middle Kingdom. After two thirds of a stick, I had to admit that it was significantly colder than I had anticipated and resorted to an extra wrap. I refused to go in though. I was no defeated by having to sleep outside in the pouring rain or by worse so the gods may damn me if I am to be brought down by a cold snap!

I returned to the House in time for the evening meal and the Hall felt far less hostile than it had earlier. I enjoyed the music and the conversation. I had the chance to speak to some of Kaede's cousins which was pleasant. I knew of them, of course, but as I recall, I may only have met Kiku once and I had never spoken to Hikari before. The conversation was bland and inconsequential but from it I gathered that half the women in the House swoon over Sasanuma and almost everyone is waiting for the announcement of a wedding. How interesting. Do they not know their cousin at all? In the short time since I have become reacquainted with Kaede, it has become obvious to me that she has no designs on actually marrying him. Even if she did, would he desire it? I am not so sure. I will watch with interest.

I must note, again, that I have seen no birds. I must try to find out why. Perhaps I can get a note to Aoki when I send the letter to Yuika.